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 ---MEN/WOMEN
How
to impress the opposite sex
How to impress a woman:
Compliment her
cuddle her
kiss her
caress her
love her
stroke her
tease her
comfort her
protect her
hug her
hold her
spend money on her
wine & dine her
buy things for her
listen to her
care for her
stand by her
support her
go to the ends of the earth for her....
How to impress a man:
Show up in a sexy dress
Bring beer
Smart
man + Smart woman = romance
Smart man + Dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + Smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + Dumb woman = pregnancy
The
difference between men and women:
A man will pay Rs. 200 for a Rs. 100 item, if he wants it. A
woman will pay Rs. 100 for a Rs. 200 item that she doesn't want
because it's on sale.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A
man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend. A successful woman is one who can find that man.
To
be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love
him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a
lot and don't expect to understand her at all.
A
woman marries a man expecting him to change, and he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting her not to change and she
does.
A
woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.
When God Made Man and Woman
When God made man, He made him out of string
He found He had an extra bit so He left a little thing.
When God made woman, He made her out of lace
He found He didn't have enough, so He left a little space.
A
couple had been married for 25 years and also celebrated their
60th birthdays. During the celebration a fairy appeared and
said that because they had been such a loving couple all those
years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world.
The fairy waved her wand and boom! She had the tickets in her
hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then
said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger
than me."
The fairy picked up her wand and boom! He was 90.
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