Sharon
(an Essex girl) went down to the social services to
get her
family allowance.
The office worker asked her, "How many children
do you have?"
"Ten," she replied.
"What are their names?" he asked.
"Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,
and Wayne," she
answered.
"They're all named Wayne ?" he asked "What
if you want them to come in
from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just
call "Wayne" and they all come
running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for
dinner?"
" I just say, 'Wayne, come eat your dinner',"
she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do
something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just
use their surname"._____Haha....ha
A
couple had been married for 25 years and also celebrated
their 60th birthdays. During the celebration a fairy
appeared and said that because they had been such
a loving couple all those years, she would give them
one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the
world. The fairy waved her wand and boom! She had
the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's
turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well,
I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand and boom! He was 90._____Haha....ha
A man was walking in the street when
he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one
more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill
you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in
front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and
after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again
the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one
more step a car will run over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came
careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where
are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian
angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked....
"And where the hell were you when I got married?"_____Haha....ha
After
a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know,
I was a fool when I married you." The husband
replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't
notice."_____Haha....ha
I
bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There
was water in the carburetor." I asked her , "Where's
the car?" She replied, "In the lake."_____Haha....ha
